And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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