Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
