So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
