ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
