Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize