I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
