i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
