Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Randomize
