Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Redeem this text for a blowjob
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
