Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
