they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
