I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
sex in a hospital.. check
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
