Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
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