why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Randomize
