So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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