Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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