I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
