Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
