Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
