It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
