I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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