I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Randomize
