went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize