Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
he's gonorrhea incarnate
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
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