His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize