I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Randomize
