Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
