For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
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