Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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