worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Randomize
