how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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