I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
