I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Randomize
