I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Randomize