i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Randomize
