she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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