Don't you send me to vm
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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