every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I stole a fireplace last night.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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