im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Randomize