You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
