we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
