He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I smell stomach acid.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
