hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
He kissed a someone with a penis
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
