Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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