honey bunches of taint.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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