it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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