I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
