she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Your penis caused this!
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
