im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
