6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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