I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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