They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
