I just googled if crying burns calories
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
