I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
