i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Randomize
