There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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