I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
