a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
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