I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
