He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
