what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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